If you have followed a few of my Blogs you will know that a major shift took place at the beginning of 2020, at least major for me… I started off the new year and the new decade with NEW INTENTIONS! Not just the type of resolutions you may say every year as the bell tolls midnight on New Year’s Eve, but true deep intentions that I had been hiding behind for years.
Bringing in the New Decade felt like an opportunity to wipe the slate clean and to be able to show up as a New YOU, or new ME in this case. For what has been the better part of my adult life I have been an A-type personality, never satisfied with what is at my doorstep, always seeking for greater achievements. Always looking to the Future not at the PRESENT. Well this all changed when I decided to stop hiding behind my own personality, stopped trying to be more than I was already, stopped trying to be super mom, super woman, super worker and do it all…
In fact, the moment I realized I wasn’t living in the present was the moment I realized I was missing out on my life! Working for what others thought I should be and not what I wanted to be. I came to a crossroads and near burnout and was confused as to what I was doing and why? Well to back track just a bit, a few years back I slowly started to take notice of my health, my habits, and questioned my desire to always look forward for more. And I slowly started to incorporate more meaningful, more intentional decisions into my life.
The 3 M’s Meditation, Mindset and Money, were all part of my unwinding process, to stop turning the top (which I called my life) at high speed, and work on my ability to slow down and be in the MOMENT.
MEDITATION; allowed me to stop moving for about 15 minutes a day and take the time to breathe, I mean really breathe, so that I could relax my mind enough to actually know what I was thinking. To clear my mind of programmed thoughts and open my mind to unknown thoughts. This shift allowed me to break the habits that were running on autopilot and reflect on my deeper subconscious thoughts. Bringing me out of my habits and into my heart.
MINDSET; was a huge change for me, since I was always minded to be that go-getter to strive for more, that I didn’t take the time to understand my own goals and aspirations, which objectives was I working on for others and which ones was I working on for myself? I decided that I would intentionally take the time to listen to myself. I learned about Human design and what it meant to be and live in alignment with your true self. I have just now learned to take a step back and ask myself if it is right for me. I no longer rush into things with my head first, I sit and listen to what my gut tells me to and act when it's a HELL YES! moment and feel 100% good about what I am doing. I have learned to take more time and sit with ideas before I jump forward and by jump I mean one solid step at a time. If I don't feel right and am wobbly with my emotions then that energy will certainly ripple to those around me. When I'm fully in with both feet solidly planted to the ground then my energy is high and that shines through. Who wants a ripple when they can ride a wave!
MONEY; NOW this is a BIG one, Money mindset, being a striver and go-getter you would think I had no issues with Money, well to the contrary, I have always felt I wasn’t deserving of Money, I would feel guilt when I would hand in an invoice and ask for payment for work completed. I would sheepishly shy away from collecting for jobs well done or time well spent. This was a huge obstacle for me to look introspectively at, I questioned why I felt the guilt and finally realized that my Value was worth paying for and that if I didn’t accept that I was meant to be paid IN FULL for my work why would others feel any differently about paying me less or even at all (I was great at giving free advise). Understanding the Money guilt was a big part of my growth, and guess what, it appears I’m not the only one that thinks, sorry change that, thought that way! Apparently there are a whole slew of people that have issues around Self worth and Money. Well I have finally chucked that Idea to the way side and am now on the road to recovery regarding my worth and my time. I can now say I work hard and I'm worth it! Money isn't the Evil enemy that I need to hide from, and damn right I am worthy of it. (okay so there is still some guilt saying it out loud, but there it is! Like I said, I'm on the road to recovery and I'm still working on it..)
Putting these 3 M’s together I have come to a place where Meditation, Mindfulness and Money have brought me to MANIFESTATION! Yes manifesting what is good for me and manifesting what is right for me. Taking the time to understand who I am and act on what I want in a true and honest way, allowing myself to value my time, my moments, and be in the present with my actions has allowed me to Manifest what I want out my life, right here, right now. Owning a Work Life Balance without the guilt has brought me more happiness, more free time, more FUN work and yes...more Money...
2020 with all of it’s up and downs has been a true pivotal year for me and I’m proud to say a GREAT year in many ways. Not perfect but pretty damn good. I have learned that not being perfect is ok, like not writing a Blog for the last few months is okay, that I can pick up when the time is right, as it was today and right now, and that I don’t have to worry that I haven’t been running my life like a well oiled machine, because I’m not a well oiled machine. I AM a multi-tasker and multi-preneur, but have added Soul to my multitasking (I can’t change my personality) but I can own up to it and not try to be everything to everyone and I have happily laid claim to the fact that I do many jobs at many different times, and sometimes all at once, but I have also come to realize that my imperfection is my perfection. As long as I am doing it truthfully for the right reasons, that those who will want to surround themselves around me will and they will also naturally be those that I will want to surround myself with. So far so good I would say!
I’ve learned to let go of the what if’s and have learned to look at the right now’s. Which brings me to why I am writing today, Inspired to reach out, Reflect back, not forward and check in with myself and those around me. Today is as good a day as any to take a step back and sit in the moment and ask yourself, How am I doing today?
December 1st is the the start to the closing of this wild year and with all it's up and down's, I just wanted to THANK all of you who have been there by my side. There is no reason to wait for a Holiday or a New Year to know that I have been surrounded (even if at a distance most of this year) by people who have moved forward with me as I have moved forward in my journey. It is with YOU that I have arrived where I am today. The mountain I have climbed is one through friendship and trust. Slow and steady through much imperfection this year has been pretty perfect. A year of Growth and Renewal... Yesterday, November 30th, was the Full Beaver Moon and I do feel that I have built my lodge with branches and mud and am now more prepared for what lies ahead. Although I am truly learning to be in the moment I must admit I am just a little bit curious to see what 2021 will have to offer. But for now, it is just a heartfelt Thank you! and a moment of gratitude that I do not ever take for granted. There are certainly more mountains to climb but for right here, right now, and because of all of you, I'm exactly where I am meant to be.
As always, Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments. I always welcome them as sharing is a great way to stay connected to who you really are. No more hiding behind your other self!
With Love and Joy ♡
Susan